mandag den 6. december 2010


As I'm writing this, I have three stories - and possible books - floating around in my head. The first one - Zeke and Ugly Jack - you've already read part of. I'm still trying to figure out the setting (and everything else, for that sake), but at the moment it's something like this: a dark, dystopian near future. A war between Europe and the US has ravaged the world, both economically and ecologically. The oceans are mostly filled with oil, and any countries still up and running are sheltered behind walls and guns. Great Britain is one of the few countries where civilized society still reigns true. Barely. It is a crime-ridden slum ruled by equal part organised crime, over-eager politicians and police officers, all of which want to control the island. Zeke and Ugly Jack are two small time crooks, working odd jobs for whoever will hire them. I'm still not sure if they're the main characters, but they're certainly major ones. Mezzofinelli, one of the many assassins roaming the world, was raised on the streets. He's proud of his skills, and rightfully so.

The second story is the one I'm most hesitant about. It was a dream I had approximately six months ago, and - as dreams often are - the story was confusing and often nonsensical, but I will try to explain it as best I can. The story is set in feudal Japan. It's a beautiful spring morning, and two men are walking along a largely empty street in a small village. One is tall and serious-looking (heavily inspired by Toshiru Mifune, I'm sure) and the other is short, fat and merry-looking. His cheeks are round and red, and he carries a multitude of katanas in brightly-colored sheaths. He is some kind of festive katana salesman, I guess? The tall man carries a katana approximately 7 feet long. This is where the story gets a little... hazy. The two men - as yet unnamed - somehow get into some trouble. The local crimelord, a small girl (who is some kind of demon, apparently), want them both dead, and they flee the village, the girl's hired thugs in hot pursuit. Later, they arrive at a city. Its walls and buildings are made from some kind of pale, beige rock, and the architecture is middle eastern in appearance. There, the tall man fights some guy on a roof and - here the dream got a little trippy - falls through a portal. He appears on a busy street in modern day Copenhagen. Here, the evil demon girl shows up along with some red alligator-looking demon motherfuckers. The evil alligators have an epic fight with tall samurai man while evil demon girl hurls black and purple balls of fire at him. So, yeah. Still working on figuring that one out.

The third and final story is an autobiography of an evil henchman. You know the sort. A secret lair and a bomb big enough to cover New York in scalding hot chocolate fudge is all well and good for an Evil Genius, but if you really want to take over the world, you need some Evil Henchmen. The foottroops of any moderne villain. The ones that pilots your stealth-bomber, hijacks the train and kidnaps damsels, thereby putting them in distress. A single punch will knock them out cold, they are dumb as a pile of bricks and they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Or so the stereotype goes. But the main character (still working on the name) tells the true story of Evil Henchmen. They work in much the same way as private security firms, except, y'know, more "evil". Except, that's the thing: they're not evil. Sure, some of them aren't the most sympathetic guys in the world, but most of them are just regular guys with a wife and kids. The pay is good, they get dental, and in these hard times - with the recession and all - a guy's gotta take any job he can. I've never tried writing anything in first person, but the premise really appeals to me. I might give this a go for the next update.

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