Jane

    Jane downed a sixth shot of rotgut and slammed the glass down on the counter, grimacing at the sensation of drinking what was essentially jet fuel. More than once she'd used her own brew to power Betty when the gas had run out. It was cheaper than the real stuff and allowed her to coax more speed out of the old girl, but it chewed through the gas tanks like acid. Tasted like it, too. 

    Someone tapped her on her shoulder and Tank's deep bass sounded close behind her. 

    'Deal's done, boss,' he rumbled, sounding nothing so much as bear with gravel for lungs. 'But Taglioni's boys are waiting out front with automatics. '

    'Told ya,' she said with a slight slur in her voice. 'Fuckers are too greedy f'their own good.'

OneWord #1 - Heartache

Oneword.com is an amazing site. You get one word to write about, and 60 seconds to write. This is what I wrote for the word "Heartache."


His heart ached like an orange that had been squeezed too tightly. Spurts of citrusy juice sprang from the crannies and crevices of his heart, and it stung like a motherfucker.

DOGGYQUEST

I meant to write a travelogue for our journey to Norway to pick up a dog, but I lost like a day's worth of writing. So here are some pictures accompanied by comments and the approximate time they were taken.

23:00. And we're off! We're driving to the ferry, and it's super duper dark outside.



00:00. Arrived at the harbor. There are a whole bunch of semis and only a couple of regular cars.


01:00. Walking to our cabin. The stairways look like something out of Mirror's Edge, and I feel a sudden urge to unleash some sick parkour moves.


01:30. The cabin is small and the beds are uncomfortable, but there's a very enthusiastic magazine on the table encouraging me to "crank it up".


06:00. We've slept for 4 uncomfortable hours, and everyone is pretty tired. Sweden is cold, and the water in the harbor was covered in ice.


08:00. We might be in Norway now? I'm not sure, but we're driving over a weird-looking bridge.


09:00. Headin' to Dingle.


10:00. Harken my words, me hearties. Let me tell you the legend of ol' Captain Blackshoe, The Shoe Pirate. He looted nothing but shoes and opened up a relatively successful shoe shop in Norway. The end.


11:00. The weather's pretty great. Blue sky, clear air, bright sun.


12:00. We make a brief stop in Silent Hill, apparently.


13:00. I think we might have died dead. Heading towards the light.


13:01. Nope, false alarm.


13:30. We eat lunch at a rest stop along the highway. Cold pizza and a can of Coke is fucking DELICIOUS.


13:35. Checking the gas station for snacks, and 27 danish crowns for 80 grams of potato chips? Are you kidding me?


14:00. ICE TO MEET YOU.


15:00. After driving up a terrifying ice-covered mountainside, we arrive at Geir's house/dog kennel. He wasn't actually holding a moose head when we arrived, but he was in engine grease up to his elbows, since he was fixing his car.

15:05. We meet the dogs. They're pretty great.


15:06. Nom nom nom. Satzu chewing on some puppies.


15:10. Geir invites us in for tea and coffee. He also shows us the giant, stuffed lynx he shot and killed.


15:15. There were also horses.


15:30. We head back to a nearby inn. The place is so Norwegian I don't even know.


18:00. Dinner! Potatoes, delicious brown sauce and some terrible frikadeller. Also bread and crackers.


SLEEEEEEP.

09:00. Breakfast! Enjoying the view.


11:00. Geir arrives with Nova, our new puppy. He says goodbye, and she's a little scared.


11:30. We get to know Nova, and she sleeps a little bit.


12:00. Off we go, heading back to Denmark. Nova sleeps in her transport box, cuddled up with her mother's blanket.


12:30. Suddenly we're IN AMERICA.


12:35. Ah yes, the proud city of Dumbass.


13:30. Lunch at an old fishing shack. Nova is in the black transport cage.


15:00. We take a brief detour through Chernobyl and encounter an Anomaly. No casualties.


17:00. Arrived at the harbor, waiting for the ferry to show up. I watch MST3K while snacking on peanuts and Italian sausage. Good times.


19:00. Chilling in the cabin. Nova is sleeping on my dad.


SLEEEEEEEEP.

6:20. Time to wake up. Slept absolutely terribly, and I've apparently gotten a light fever. I completely forgot to take any pictures because I was busy not throwing up.

8:00. Back in good old Denmark, and we're taking a break to grab some fresh air and eat some food.


10:00. We arrive home, and my dad carries Nova into the house. Fuck it's good to be home.


Ladies and gentlemen, after 1143 kilometers in car, 19 hours on boat and 20.000 kroner, I present to you: Nova.


She enjoys oranges, small sticks and chewing on my hair.

Just An Idea, continued.

The princess was at first dismayed that he had sacrificed immortality for her, but eventually she came to love the man for his utter devotion. She convinced him to leave the forest and live as humans. After much discussion, he agreed. Many of the wolves were so loyal to him that they too were made human (how?), and swore to serve as his royal guard.

They settle down, make a village, and under the rule and guidance of the wolf lord and the princess, the village grows quickly. The wolf lord's temper is fierce, but the princess can calm his by a mere touch or a quiet word. The village grew quickly, and it wasn't not long before trade caravans and settlers arrived. But with the caravans came brigands, and it became necessary to expand the army. Before long, the village had turned into a city and the guard into an army.

The arrogant king got word that his lost daughter was seen in the new city, and he arrived to take her home. The meeting between king, wolf lord and princess was tense, but eventually the king accepted that she was not held there against her will. He parted in peace, but the princess' brother - the prince - hated the wolf lord. The prince assassinated the king and took over the throne. He spread lies about the wolf lord, telling people that he was an evil abomination who had kidnapped and violated the princess.

He gathered his own army to "free" the princess and waged war on the wolf lord's small kingdom.

Just An Idea

Just an idea for a story that I have to write down before I forget it. Not a real story. No names or anything.

The god of wolves (name?) took the form of a massive, grey wolf with yellow eyes and fangs the size of swords. It was taller than a man and twice the length of a horse, and it had unparalleled speed and strength. It ruled over The Biggest Forest (name?), as it had for thousands of years, but Man had always feared and hunted it. The god of wolves had grown more and more angry as men and women killed his children, and for hundreds of years he had killed any human who dared enter his domain.

An arrogant king led an army into the forest, meaning to kill the god of wolves. He brought thousands of soldiers, retainers, nobles and even his son and daughter. The king and his army cut and burned their way through the forest, pushing in to the very heart of the forest, where the god of wolves dwelt.

The god of wolves fell on the army with all the ferocity of an angered god, and when it was all over, the army was routed and the king lay wounded before the god of wolves. Just as the god was about to kill the king, the king's daughter ran in to block the god's path. She pleaded with him to spare her father's life. The god of wolves was captivated by the princess' beauty and gentle voice, and he lowered his head to the ground, his yellow eyes locking with the princess' blue. He agreed to spare the king if the princess would spend the rest of her life with the god.

She agreed - anything to save her father's life - and climbing onto his back, the god carried her deep into the forest. The god of wolves loved the princess fiercely, but he had no experience with human feelings and needs. The princess eventually grew fond of the god, but she cried often, and when she explained that she could not handle the thought of living the rest of her life without seeing another human being, he was distraught.

Jealousy prevented him from bringing other humans into his lair, but the princess' sorrow cut at his heart. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. Travelling to the top of Rebirth Mountain, the god of wolves called to the pantheon, begging them to hear his request. He tore his heart from his chest and placed it on something before darkness overtook him.

When he awoke, he had turned into a man. He had sacrificed his immortality so that the princess had another human being to talk to.

To be continued.

Addendum

I also dreamt that professional Starcraft 2 player "White-Ra" grew angry once, when he was injured during his time as a soccer player.

A Dream I Had

I had a dream last night.

Me and some unknown classmates were supposed to travel to Spain for a week, but it was cancelled. So we decided to travel to a small town nearby instead. For some reason, I was transporting a litter of wolf pups in a large plastic bag. They seemed to enjoy tumbling around in it.

For some reason I was supposed to pose as the lord of Winterfell - yes, the A Song Of Ice And Fire Winterfell. To begin with, I was just supposed to claim that I was the lord, but I got an idea: why not take it a step further and take over a nearby ruined castle? Someone agreed, and suddenly I was the lord of an awesome wintery medieval viking castle. I asked the blacksmith to make me a suit of armor, and he quickly produced an awesome horned helmet and scaled chest plate. After sending him off to also make me a pair of matching boots and gloves, he was assassinated by a tall, gangly and sickly-looking man who was a pawn of a greater evil who worked in the shadows. The assassin cut his throat twice, then cut his face several times. Angered by the assassination, I summoned a huge dragon with black and grey metallic scales. I leaped on its back, and as we flew out of the great hall, my armor melted and transformed, covering my entire body. The horns grew longer, the armor more elaborate, and my body shone like fire through cracks in the armor. My eyes shone especially bright; practically two small suns.

With a few great beats of its wings, the dragon carried me over the huge mountain where my castle lay and down to a huge cathedral where the faceless evil I was hunting was hiding. It breathed a colossal ball of fire that shattered a huge mosaic in the cathedral's front wall, and as we dived through the shower of broken glass, I leaped off the dragon's back in a rage, trailing fire and screaming defiance against whatever evil had dared oppose my rule. Far below me, a creature of shadow stood. I crashed into the creature like a meteor, waves of fire engulfing everything inside the cathedral. I started pummeling the creature with my gauntleted fists, each blow sending a new wave of white-hot fire coursing out from me.

Then I woke up.